You know it's cold...

You know it's really cold when:

1. You open the fridge and you go 'oh, feels toasty in here!'

2. You touch the window pane and your arse freezes on the chair.

3. You start to speak and the little white cloud of your breath first goes up, then it provokes a miniature precipitation of snow.

4. You cook something with mozzarella topping at 250C degrees and about five seconds after you've put it on the table the mozzarella returns to a fine solid state.

5. London runs out of grit on the second day of snow and leaves the city covered by layers of dangerous ice for the rest of winter.

6. Your fingers cnt prss th kybord' kys anymre

7. You think you saw the Yeti walk his dog in your street.

8. You realise that was definitely the Yeti you saw and that it wasn't a dog but a baby polar bear he was walking.